The importance of empathy and psychological contact within a BDSM relationship.
Please note, this blog is based on My own personal feelings and experiences.
To get on any psychological level with a person I believe you must, to an extent, be able to feel what it is like to be the other person. This does not mean that I become the sub, it simply means I am able to empathise with him.
Within this, I believe empathy is a sufficient part of the relationship.
Having the ability to understand and share the feelings of My sub enables our relationship to be both healthy and safe, which is extremely important.
You must really listen and observe a person to see things from their frame of reference.
My first priority is to gain a greater understanding of the person in front of Me.
By keeping one foot in the subs world and one foot in My own, I am able to reach a deeper level of understanding whilst still maintaining My position of power within the relationship.
By delving deeper, I am able to tune into My subs thoughts and feelings.
I believe, that it is only when two minds meet that a real connection is made.
With this, what you then do within your relationship will have greater meaning to it.
Without psychological contact and only a list of the subs fetishes to go off, when the Domme acts them out she is in effect, just doing as she is told. She is pleasing her sub. Granted, she may get off on the fetishes at play, but within this approach, she will always remain secondary to them.
Which raises the question, in this situation – who is in charge?
For Me, it is only when psychological aspects are at play that I am able to take My sub to a whole new level. This new space leaves the sub vulnerable and open.
By tuning into the weakened mind, I am able to use the information selected to My advantage. It is only now that I am able to take full control of My sub.
At this point, for the now captivated sub, this unknown space is both scary and exciting.
For Me, real servitude begins – mind control.