I decided to write a blog for those interested in learning about how I feel when in a session and the positive impacts BDSM has had on me. I have also added the positive experiences of others.
Please note. This blog is written from my own frame of reference. Like everything, there are GOOD and BAD sides. For this blog however, i have chosen to focus only on the good experiences I have had. I will always advise anyone new to the scene to research their needs throughly.
Please keep in mind that the majority of my sessions are fantasy based which is what I have based most of my writing on.
My psychological experience when in the moment –
I love the surreality when immersed in session.
Feeling as though it is just me and my submissive as one, ready to conquer the world. I say conquer, as for me, it’s a feeling of empowerment. Forgetting my pains and my troubles, letting go of any negative feelings and freeing my mind.
It truly is a freeing experience that liberates me. For a moment, I am able to cut the cable ties of normal life and allow my mind to wander free.
If I am too achieve this level of freedom, the connection between myself and my sub must be mutually genuine.
There is a sense of euphoria when deep in session with the right person!
Despite the floaty feeling when experiencing this fantasy world, I also carry with me huge responsibility- the well being of my submissive.
My submissive is my number one priority.
I don’t experience sub space as I am the Dominant and for those who have not experienced a Dominants POV, you may be wondering how I can possibly experience such freedom whilst maintaining responsibly for another.
It’s not easy to explain and I am admittedly a ‘floater’, which means I tend to drift and reflect as I go, so bear with me as I try to explain best I can.
I use music as an escape and so I will attempt to use it as an example to try and explain.
Have you ever listened to a piece of music and it almost feels as if it is speaking to your soul?
You become completely immersed in it.
The beat, the rhythm, the base.
The lyrics, maybe they speak to you?
In that moment it is just you and the music.
It runs through your body as you bathe in its energy.
It’s almost like you’re in a space trance but you’re still on earth – you’ve not left the planet. Hell, you’re still in your kitchen!
It’s similar to when you’re experiencing those euphoric fantasy realms but you’re still very much in the room! You never left!
A feeling of movement whilst being completely still.
A feeling that your mind is somewhere else but your body is still very much grounded.
The music is your head space whilst your body remains in the room. It’s much like holding your submissives hand whilst your minds wander to somewhere else – a conscious part of you stays in reality. Your minds connect in the atmosphere but your feet remain firmly on the concrete (unless you’re in bondage). As the Dominant, you guide and protect but that doesn’t mean you aren’t able to drift off together. I guess you keep one foot in, one foot out.
Does the Dominant ever totally lose control? I don’t.
Can you completely let go whilst still being in control of a situation? Perhaps not.
Is the feeling of keeping one foot in, one foot out freeing? For me, it’s the freest I’ve ever felt and that’s point! It’s my escape too and I embrace every second of it!
Nothings clean cut. We must look beyond what is black and white and learn to live in the grey!
Following this, I thrive in a world where I am accepted for just being me. Raw, real and ugly.
I am a super active ‘Twitter person’ and I enjoy the interaction I have with the followers who share similar interests to mine.
In a world where we are judged relentlessly and condemned to brutal social stigmas, BDSM is very much, my safe place.
To finish this blog, I wanted to include some of the responses I got to the question I asked on Twitter this morning, as I found them pretty heart warming.
My question –
‘Psychologically, what do you love about BDSM whilst in the moment?’
Get to give away their control
Let everything go in the moment
The sincerity of the situation
Being in the zone
Feeling like a whore
Gifting someone the space to connect
Freedom to explore without judgment
Restricted body – free mind
Freeing mentally and emotionally, I don’t have to think about anything
Feeling scared whilst in a safe environment
Letting go of everything that may be going on in the outside world
Behave according to our feelings – just be ourselves
Suspend reality, pressure and routine of work life
Made a fantasy become a reality
The world just reducing to two people in it
Experienced something fearful but survive
Like an Alice in wonderland moment- a huge escape
Shift that balance where I am not in control
Helps with depression, anxiety – after a session the release helps me cope with all the built up things in my life
Be whatever I want to be
Complete trust and acceptance of each other
Over coming the evolutionary instincts to avoid pain
The rest of the world stops
Safely explore every corner of myself – dark, cheesy, hateful, loving, weird, twisted – integrate than without toxicity
I was pretty blown away by these comments which is why I have shared them.
Whether you are new to exploring, experienced or just someone who stumbled across this blog. I hope you can take from it, the positive energy in which i feel and have tried to convey.
I know some people don’t like this part of themselves, I’ve had submissives say that they wish they were ‘normal’ – whatever that is.
I guess I hope that one day you can accept it and embrace it because in such a cold world, you know what, within this community, WE are the lucky ones – we get to be accepted!
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog!