I’ve been meaning to write this blog post for a while now but procrastinating is something I do well!
This blog is for those following My ever changing journey. It is an insight into My past and My present and possibly My terrible grammar!
Recently on Twitter someone asked, ‘do you know what triggered you into becoming a dominatrix?’ and I feel My response ties nicely into this blog.
With a little more detail, I was a counsellor before I became a Dominatrix.
In the run up to this, I had spent most of My childhood trying to discover Myself. I was rebellious and out of control. A free spirit in every sense with this, I got Myself into some rough situations. Physically, I was a tough kid. Mentally, I was wild like the wind.
People often ask if I was a ‘mean girl’ when I was young. To their disappointment, My answer is always no. I was a fighter but I would fight to keep Myself safe. I was a wild child, with a huge heart. I recently said, I have the mind of psychopath and the heart of a Mother. This is very true. My mind wanders to dark places and My heart enables Me to empathise. Together they make a perfect team.
My experiences growing up enabled Me to empathise pretty early on. In school I would probably compare My self to a potato! I was a fair all rounder. I got on with everyone, including teachers. I was well liked and only disruptive when I felt something was unjust. I would protect the weaker kids who were prone to bullying, yet I was also friends with the bullies. I have a fast tongue and was able to fight well when necessary, this enabled Me to sail through the social side of school without any problems.
My all rounding personality helped Me interact with people from all different backgrounds.
As I got older, I began a degree in counselling. With so much self reflection and self work, everything finally fell into place. I was listening to Myself and it felt good.
My career as a counsellor was short but fulfilling. I love to help people in need and I feel My non judgmental ethos is My greatest blessing.
For extra money, I started working on the web cam. I thrived in this as I love attention.
I won’t go into the details as I have written an earlier blog on this subject.
When I began training as a Dominatrix, I wanted to please and so I tried My best to fit into the sharp, stern role. I struggled with this as I needed more from the person I was dominating. I needed to understand them. I learnt a lot from some wonderful Mistresses and when setting My own place up, I took all the parts I’d been taught and enjoyed and mixed them in with My strong personality traits. I am always learning and evolving but today, today I specialise in the mind as that is where My passion lies. Getting into a persons mind is no easy task and so I often draw on the skills I learnt through counselling to access it. My approach is very much person centred as for Me, you are your own best expert.
Despite the Dominatrix title, I am very much a pleaser. I love to see people happy and I enjoy allowing them the freedom to reach that secret place in their mind, where they can let go.
I thrive in mental head games because I see the mind as a puzzle and I enjoy picking it apart and putting it back together.
For Me, My work is down to My love of the male brain!
I love men! I love to be in their company and I love the way their minds are wired. Men fascinate Me, they always have done. I love to seduce and toy with a mans brain. Men are very susceptible to seduction and I use this to reign free. I love to learn from men as I find that their instinctive animalistic, hunter gatherer traits to be an asset of their personality and it is something I admire.
Many often consider the Dominatrix to be a man hater because of the sadism inflicted upon the male masochist. For Me, to be a good Dominatrix, you must enjoy being in male company.
In My opinion, a strong D/s relationship has its foundations buried in a trusted connection between the two. This can only be achieved if the connection is true.
Through My experiences, I feel that everything happened for a reason and that this was always meant to be.
Through much self reflection, I am a pretty grounded person. My life experiences enabled Me to see out if the box and to be open minded when exploring the grey areas. My counselling career enriched My life by helping Me understand Myself. It also taught Me that people are not static. Our minds are fluid and changing everyday. It is good to check in with ourselves from time to time and reflect upon where our head space is at.
Finally, becoming a Dominatrix completed Me.
It enables Me to use everything I have learnt about Myself and others and filter that into a positive space. In My experience, people just want to be accepted and so, I work hard on Myself to ensure that I am able to give each person My best shot at this.
I am the pleaser. Some may feel as though I should not be the pleaser because they are, and that’s okay. The mind isn’t straight forward, if it was, I would have no interest in it.
We are complex beings and I like that. I am a pleaser and so are you. My goal is to give you the best experience I can possibly give. Your freedom of expression is My drive.
My admission of this may come as a surprise to some, some may even decide that I am not the person they thought I was and that is okay. My submissives pay testament to My work and I guess this has validated Me enough to write this blog. I am comfortable within My position as a Dominatrix and that is a very powerful thing indeed!
The future looks exciting!
Thank you for taking the time read this.